Sure… Um. Yeah.
…
No, wait— Superboy, how can you say that it’s best for me? What’s best for me isn’t something you decide! I decide what’s best for me! I’m older now and I’ve seen more of Earth and the world at large and I feel like I have the capacity to make my own decisions. I have the maturity to make my own decisions. And, you, saying that it was best for me and that you broke my heart because it was the best thing for me is kind of ridiculous and why didn’t you take into account how I feel about this? Because a relationship is between two people, me and you, and maybe I still have feelings for you—
I— I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.
Wait, what? You still—no, you don’t have feelings for me anymore. It’s not fair to Lagoon Boy or you. Tch, come on. I’m pretty sure there’s a Hello Megan that deals with breakups. -sighs and runs his hand through his hair, the words just flowing out without a filter- I decided for the both of us because I knew that you wouldn’t let go of me. You were caught up in this Hello Megan fantasy world but no, it doesn’t work like that! They were both human, not a Martian and a Kryptonian-human clone! I’m not going to age, M’gann! This is not a scripted TV show where everything is tied up nicely at the end of the 30 minutes! -pauses as he feels the air draining from the room-
…I’m sorry M’gann. I’m so sorry. -digs his nails into his palms as his hands curl into fists-
I know that this isn’t a sitcom. I KNOW THAT. I had to deal with that reality back when I thought that my entire team died and even though it wasn’t true it was still my fault. I traumatized everyone because this isn’t a script and this isn’t a fantasy world and this isn’t some stupid after school special. I found that out when Garf’s mother died—
You can try to justify what you did all you want, blame it on me and how I was naive or careless or whatever, but the real reason that you broke up with me is that you can’t handle who you are or what you are, and you’re scared. You’re scared of yourself. You’re scared of your body not aging and you’re scared of the powers you don’t have and you’re scare of the fate of a clone in this stupid, unscripted world. But what you don’t understand is that not having a script means that we can write our own! We don’t have to be what other people plan out for us! You don’t have to be Superman and I don’t have to be TV-land Megan and the only reason you are what you are is because you choose to be it. You’re choosing misery and brooding bitterness for yourself, and maybe it’s because you’re scared to be happy but I’m trying to not let that get to me.
You’re choosing to be alone, and if I don’t make the same choice and if I end up with La’gann because of it, you can’t glare at us and pretend not to see when we kiss. You can’t be bitter or gloomy or angry at anyone but yourself. And if it hurts me to see you like that, then the only thing that hurts me more is the fact that you’re inflicting this upon yourself, and nothing I can do is going to stop that.
Hey, listen M’gann! Just because you’re pissed at me for breaking up with you doesn’t mean you get to dangle yourself in front of me with your new toy. That’s not exactly mature of you either. Yeah, I make faces and glare but come on! “Welcome back, Angelfish”?! I get really sick of hearing that every single time we come home from missions that aren’t even remotely dangerous. Another thing, does Lagoon Boy know that you’re still hung up on me? I’m sure he must be able to tell the difference unless he’s just that diluted or you lied enough times through your teeth.
-grumbles and puts his hands on his hips- Fine, I’ll admit it. I was scared about my aging because things weren’t supposed to be this way. When I look at you, you recreated yourself here on Earth and although you copied a TV show personality, somewhere along the way, you forgot what it was like to be TV-Megan. You became you and with that, you became my beacon of hope. My M’gann. Thing is that I can’t recreate myself beyond my name. I can’t shapeshift or anything like that. How can I be your boyfriend if I can’t even like the face that I stare at in the mirror?
La’gann— he was there and I was hurt and he helped me put myself back together. He’s a good person and maybe I’ve been a little selfish for playing along with him even when I know he’s not my soul mate… but at least he isn’t pushing people away because of his own issues!
-sighing, quieter and gentler now-
But, I have been leading him on. And that means that I’m going to hurt him, too. And I don’t want to hurt anyone… I just—
I’m so sorry, Superboy. I hate seeing you hurt like this. I hate it. And I hate that I made you hurt like this. I don’t know if you know that. Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like you forget how good what we had was, like… like the rage and the way you are so down on yourself just block all the good times out. You don’t realize how strong of a person you are. Sure, you’ve got super strength, but I’m talking about how strong you are. As a person. You’ve saved me before, like in Bialya and in Bell Reve, and that wasn’t because you could lift a car with one hand or leap tall buildings in a single bound… It was because you had conviction, and because you cared, and because you found the not-physical strength that you had and used it.
And… you know what the first thing that you learn when you’re a shape-shifter is? …That what face you have or what you look like doesn’t mean anything. That doesn’t define who you are. It’s just the clothing that we wear over the mind, the heart, all that stuff that is what really matters. And you are such a kind, strong person, Superboy, and I have never believed in anyone the way that I believe in you. So, whatever it is you feel that you can’t change, you need to prove yourself wrong. You deserve better than being alone. And if I can help you with that, just… tell me what to do.
-as he slowly internalizes her every word, he instinctually reaches out and takes her hand just as he did in the past. He runs his thumb slowly against her cool skin, just staring at their hands together, the mix of green and tan familiar- …I’ve made a mistake, M’gann but it’s too late for me to take it back. I think that’s what hurts the most. You can say that you believe in me and that you hate seeing me like this but at the end of the day, we part ways. You go to your room, I go to mine. My strength came from being with someone as positive as you. -lets go and steps back, shoving his hands in his pants pockets- …dammit, M’gann. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you and us.
…It takes two to mess something up so royally. So… I’m sorry, too.
-She smiles sadly, remembering how reassuring it was when he used to stroke her hand like that. Tears well up in her eyes, tears that she had been holding back this whole time but now ran in tiny streams along her nose and dripped off her chin. For all of the crying, though, she didn’t sniffle or wail, didn’t scream or sob, just let the tears go, running over that sad, sad smile as she turned her face away from him so he wouldn’t see her cry like this.-
Maybe one day we’ll laugh about this… I mean, with time and all…
